I was having a discussion with someone via facebook messages, and she said that it made her sad to see me consumed with my grief. I got really upset and defensive about that word "consumed".
When someone is thrown into the deepest part of the ocean and has the job of swimming to shore, you wouldn't come along and say "gosh, it makes me sad to see you still swimming". Or if a tornado wipes out your home, you wouldn't say "it makes me sad to see that you are still re-building". And yet, the death of a child is *just* like those two things!!
I do not believe I am consumed with grief. I think my grief journey is what I am supposed to be doing!! I have to go through all the stages of grief and deal with each thought and feeling before I am able to re-build. Doing anything else will cripple me emotionally for the rest of my life on earth.
Friends, if you haven't lost a child, be cautious of offering your opinion on how I am grieving. Think about how you might be doing if that was *your* child laying out there in the cemetery, with *your* child's seat empty at the dinner table every night, with *your* family trying to walk forward missing a person.
2 comments:
I have just found your blog from looking at your FB profile after reading your recent post to TCF Facebook page.
I just lost my 20 y/o son last month. From reading some of your blog entries already, I can see that I am going to be reading a lot more of your blog.
I am so glad! I find a lot of encouragement reading blogs of those who are walking this same road. It would be so much harder figuring all this out alone!!
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