Originally posted as a facebook note 1/10/11 - I received an email from a church friend ... a need for food for a funeral. We received so much food and love from complete strangers when Max died ... so I thought maybe it was time for me to think about paying some of that forward. I made the cake.
I didn't put sprinkles or candy decorations on it because I didn't want the cake to be too peppy. (Don't think me neurotic for that...) Last night when I went to bed, I thought about the day of Max's funeral. I have NO IDEA if there was cake, much less if it had sprinkles on it. I had to think really hard about WHO was even here serving the food. I can't tell you what was for lunch that day - I have no clue! We were on a tight schedule that day because we had Blanca's funeral in the morning and Max's in the afternoon. (The two who were killed in Max's crash). So much sorrow. As I laid here thinking about what I had eaten that day, I started to physically get sick to my stomach. All I can remember eating is orange jello in a beautiful pottery blue bowl. And what really matters I remember is that there were MANY people who cared enough to provide food and service to our family out of their love for Christ.
I thought about how time freezes and distorts for a family suffering a loss like ours. In many ways I feel very stuck on that day, August 6, 2010, when my world was forever changed.
Today as I reflected on what I ate that awful day in August, it just proves that I have moved forward in my grief - that thinking back causes such a reaction. And I was able to recall who came and served my family food that afternoon. So it probably won't matter to the family tomorrow at the funeral that the cake has or doesn't have sprinkles ... just that someone for some reason provided food.
Making the cake may seem like a very small thing, but for me, it was a big step. Lord, may You be glorified in all of this.
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