Death changed EVERYTHING

I am home sick today with fever and chills and I feel awful, I mean really really horrible.  Before Max died, I might say "I feel like death warmed over".   When that saying went through my mind this morning, my heart immediately rejected it.  How do I know what death warmed over feels like?  For that matter, I do not believe 'death' has any feeling.  I believe that the very second Max's heart stopped beating, he was 'absent from the body, and present with the Lord'.  We all know what someone means when they say 'I feel like death warmed over', but why do we say it when it isn't true?  Just say you feel awful.

Before Max died, when I woke up and felt disoriented or too tired from lack of sleep or my allergies were bothering me heavily, I would say "I feel like I got hit by a train".  After Max died, I met a mom who lost her daughter when the car she was riding in was literally hit by a train.  So the first time I said that phrase after Max died, my heart immediately rejected it.  Same deal.  That mom actually read on the autopsy report that the chemical a human body releases when it feels fear was missing in her daughter, and she found relief that she didn't see the train coming, she was not afraid, she was instantly 'absent from the body and present with the Lord'. 

These two small instances just show two small ways that death changes everything.  I will never look at ANYTHING the same, but rather through the lense of Max's death.