No Goodbye

I never got to say "goodbye" to Max.  He left my house on a Thursday night and the next morning he was killed instantly in a car crash.  He went straight from being alive and well to gone and dead.  Oh I saw his body and told him the things that I needed to say, but that is SO NOT THE SAME.

And so I have carried that regret of never getting to say "goodbye" until today in a TCF workshop where Darcie Sims helped me see that if I was given exactly one minute to say "goodbye" to my child, I would not have wasted my breath with the word "goodbye"!  As I started thinking about this and letting sink in, WHEW, what a profound statement and how EXTREMELY true.

So what would I have said if God had given me 60 seconds?  "I love you" "You will be safe and okay" "We will be there soon" "I love you, I love you, I love you".  And you know what?  Max already knew ALL THOSE THINGS because we had talked about heaven before.  And we *always* exchanged "I Love You"s ... the last thing we said to each other was, indeed, "I love you kiddo ... I love you too mama" ...


So I have released the regret of 'never saying goodbye' because I wouldn't have said it anyway ...  those things 'I would have said' I now say to the heavens, knowing full well that Max knows them and they are true.  Like a giant weight lifted off my shoulders - FOREVER.


What about you?  What would you say to your child, if you had exactly 60 seconds left?  You make sure they know those things so well that you will not regret it if they leave this earth without your chance to say "goodbye"!