I have had a rough evening, my heart is so tender missing Max. I was driving home from a nice productive day at work, and the words "Max McCutcheon was killed in a car accident on the turnpike" ran across my brain from the news reports that day, and I instantly started shaking my head. Denial smacks again. Only for a fleeting second. I wonder how many times my mind will fight against believing this news. Sometimes I sit back and wonder how this really happened to my family! I just can't believe it. This is not how I planned it!
I asked for Max's fb friends to share a happy memory of Max with me, and I had a flood of wonderful things shared with me. My sister-in-law posted several pictures of Max as a little guy. I loved seeing them all and hearing each memory. They did my heart good!
My mom called tonight, she had been to Hobby Lobby looking at all the different things for Max's grave decoration for Christmas. Ug! I know it's coming, but I cannot hardly think ahead to tomorrow, much less a holiday without my oldest son. How am I supposed to have Christmas this year with a hole in our family?
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