What is "NORMAL"?

Everyone talks about the "new normal" after you lose a child. I don't believe "normal" will ever return to my house after my 18 year old son, Max, was killed in a car crash on 8/6/10. "Normal Died With Max", and this blog is about the life I have without him.

Saturday, December 31, 2016

2016 Review

Seems I have ended several years with a new years eve blog entry, this year deserves one too!  It's been a roller-coaster ride of highs and lows, that's for sure!  One year ago today, my dad was having quadruple bi-pass heart surgery.  We kicked off 2016 at a small party that evening.  Here are some of the things I experienced this year:

We spent Mardi Gras in Louisiana with the kids - it was the first time I'd ever heard of or eaten King Cake!   I was taken to paradise just off the island of Antigua with my closest friend for a week of heaven!  We celebrated Wesley's 21st birthday in Las Vegas!  And my Emmaus reunion group went to Mexico together and had the greatest bonding experience of our group to date!

We lost two of our fur babies - Sissy Lou & Espresso. Sissy helped me through Max's death and Spresso was my baby that Wesley named, so losing them both was hard on me.  I had a miserable vacation at what once was my favorite place, and I was surrounded by many of my favorite people.  I had knee surgery on one of my two bad knees.  I spent 3/4 of 2016 sick and tired with no discernible explanation.  And I watched two of my best friends tear their lives apart with divorce, and another friend also experience divorce quietly from afar.  It was and is still heartbreaking.  Another one of my very closest friends lost her father, was hospitalized for sepsis, and is watching her brother go through divorce. 

Sammie was deployed and we celebrated her coming home safe!!  We got two new fur babies - Maggie and Bacon - both of whom bring us great joy and laughter.  The discovery of my mitro-valve destruction and 5 days of misery in the hospital resulted in me losing 40 lbs of fluid to date, and feeling SO much better.  And I had another HUGE piece of my grief fall away which included a break-through in my relationship with God.  I celebrated Christmas in a much different way - not just in my changed traditions - but in my heart and soul with Jesus.  It was the first Christmas since Max died that my heart wasn't so broken with grief that I could truly experience the joy going on around and in me - seven seasons without him!

I've been shown anew that I have a tight circle of friends that are there for Todd & I, no matter what.  And an even bigger circle of friends that I am so grateful for that float in and out of my life as the weeks tick by.  I am grateful to have both my parents and both Todd's parents close & active in our lives.

2017 will involve my open-heart surgery, Wesley & Sammie's honeymoon (finally!), a cruise with just Todd and I, and only God knows what else.  I'm ready, come what may.  I hope when YOU look back over your 2016, you are able to see a bigger picture of both joys and sorrows.  If not, hang on.  You will not always feel the way you feel now if you are in a season of sorrow.  I promise.  Love to you all.

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