Hold On To Jesus - What Does That Mean?

The song "Homesick" by Mercy Me inspired this blog.  I heard it the first time in July 2011 at Kim's funeral, and then again in November 2011 at Jeanie's funeral.  Now the song will forever bring tears, not just for those two beautiful friends, but for Max, all three of which are waiting in their home and my future home, heaven.

In the song, there is a verse that says "In Christ, there are no goodbyes.  And in Christ, there is no end ... so I'll hold on to Jesus with all that I have !!  To see you again .... "

This is such an abstract concept "holding on to Jesus" - what does that look like here in the literal sense?  You see, Jesus can't be abstract if He is really going to fill the void that is left after the death of my child.  He has to be REAL.  When I bunch up my comforter and clutch it to my chest, I can literally feel what I am holding on to.  How do I make Jesus feel like that?  What does it MEAN to "hold on to Jesus with all that I have"?  I posed this question in my Christian grieving moms group, and still couldn't grasp a concrete answer.   We all agreed that yes, Jesus was all we could hold on to.  It sounds like such a nice Christian cliche' but is there any truth or power there?

Faith was discussed.  Trust was brought up.  The promises of the Bible including eternal life.   The power of His Name.   But if you are not a believer or if you are brand new to faith, these things may be confusing and honestly, not look too strong in a crisis.   I am neither, and I will tell you that I am still struggling for understanding.  I am no preacher, and I have no theological training.  I guess all I can do is try to define what it looks like for me.

When I 'hold on to Jesus with all that I have': 

• Scriptures are something I can hold physically in my hand.  I can memorize a verse and repeat it over and over when the enemy of my soul comes against me.   I can look up a verse that will speak exactly to my pain or question.  I am actively using my will to choose to believe that what the Bible says is True.  The exact day of Max's death, Wesley printed out Psalm 139:16 on my computer printer and I clutched that piece of paper in my hand the entire day.  I *had* to have that Word in my hand to prove to myself that God knew exactly how many days Max was supposed to have on this earth and that was He was in control.  I've dug through my bible frantically sometimes, begging God to show me a verse that will be the balm I need for my pain. 
•  I can speak my prayers OUT LOUD with my mouth and believe that God hears.  Even when I all I can do is cry, the Holy Spirit interprets my pain and groaning. 
•  I can crank up the praise music.  I can fill my mind with praises and song.  That is something tangible that allows me to hold on to Jesus.  
•  I can rehearse my trust in God by making a list of how He has blessed me in the past and choose to believe that He continues to do so whether I can FEEL His grace at the moment or not.  
•  I can choose to acknowledge Him for any gifts that come on this rough road.  I say to Him "Thank you, Lord, for the thunder last night to remind me of Your faithfulness".   I turn around and immediately thank Him for the friend that picked up the phone and called me in a dark moment, knowing He ultimately prompted the call knowing I needed comfort.  I choose to SEE HIM in my circumstances. 
•  I can continue to study and learn more about Jesus as time goes by.  The more I study, the less important my "whys" are.  I read about His Sovereignty and it reinforces my trust that He truly does have a plan for my life, and He has everything under control, no matter how out of control I feel, no matter if I feel He failed me by letting my loved one die.  
• And most importantly, I continue having a relationship with Him - one that involves honest communication and time together.    

And for me, this whole discussion just *reinforces* how VASTLY important it is to be building a foundation with Jesus in the good times so you can fall back on what you know to be true in the bad times.   I had a preacher that said the same thing every week at the end of his sermons - "Jesus Loves Me, This I Know, For the Bible Tells Me So".  He always said his greatest desire was for us to love His Jesus.  If I have nothing else, I can repeat this one simple thing and believe the truth of it.

I have absolutely no doubt that Jesus is real and is fully able to tangibly fill any void.   Friend, please feel free to share how you hold on to Jesus in the darkest hours of your night with me.  I want to hear.  Yes, He is the only thing to hold on to, and there are real ways to do it.