Originally posted as a facebook note on 9/11/10 - Someone told my husband that his smile no longer reached his eyes. My carefree, always happy 15 year old now carries a millstone of grief and pain on his face. And I walk around with this gaping hole in my stomach that I cannot hold in.
Tonight the sermon was on seeking God, and Mike listed out things that were obstacles to seeking God. Being busy was one. My thought was, yeah, God kinda cleared my schedule since August 6, so that is not an issue with me. I realized tonight what a great blessing the valley of tears can be, because I feel like my ONLY chance of not sinking into the pit of despair is to talk to God all the time! I pray, I read His word, I BLAST praise songs. And those praise songs are the only thing that reach that hole inside of me.
Tonight one of the songs we sang at church was about God letting the waters rise if He wanted them to, and our stubborn refusal to let them stop us from following Him. I bawled all the way through that. It may be easy to sing a song like that on a 'normal' day, but it's something completely different to sing about that when the waters are already circling around your neck threatening to go over your head at any second.
Thank you God, for the awesome power and comfort that only YOU can bring in times like this. Thank you for creaing the deep praise of music that reaches the depths of our soul.
Tonight the sermon was on seeking God, and Mike listed out things that were obstacles to seeking God. Being busy was one. My thought was, yeah, God kinda cleared my schedule since August 6, so that is not an issue with me. I realized tonight what a great blessing the valley of tears can be, because I feel like my ONLY chance of not sinking into the pit of despair is to talk to God all the time! I pray, I read His word, I BLAST praise songs. And those praise songs are the only thing that reach that hole inside of me.
Tonight one of the songs we sang at church was about God letting the waters rise if He wanted them to, and our stubborn refusal to let them stop us from following Him. I bawled all the way through that. It may be easy to sing a song like that on a 'normal' day, but it's something completely different to sing about that when the waters are already circling around your neck threatening to go over your head at any second.
Thank you God, for the awesome power and comfort that only YOU can bring in times like this. Thank you for creaing the deep praise of music that reaches the depths of our soul.
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